“I don’t want to understand you because if I do, I’ll be no where…”
I had been dressing up only and only for my Rab, since the
day I had met him because nobody used to see me the way he used to and nobody
used to make me feel beautiful about myself like he did. He had some magic in
his eyes, his eye contact was so intense that I never gathered the courage to
look in them and that I had to look away. He was such a beauty himself that I was
on a constant effort to please his eyes. He loved pretty girls; he loved
simplicity and gorgeousness in a woman. And on top of that I was so possessive
about him that it was always a challenge for me to look even better every time I
met him. I always wanted to show him the best in me; he deserved all the
beautiful things and feelings in the world. He was absolutely everything I had
ever wanted in my life and I could do anything to make him feel exceptional. It
was a birthday party of a very special person, she was special to both of us,
and she had invited us to celebrate her big day with her at her place. I was
excited more than usual since the dress code for the event for traditional
Indian wear for the girls and formals for the guys. I couldn’t let this occasion
go out of my hand, I had to look exactly like what Rab would always dream her
idol girl to dress up like and I was way too looking forward to the event.
He had
left the party leaving me complete, even when we did not display much of
affection publically, but the kind of love he displayed through his eyes was
enough for a girl like me. I was just hoping him to stay for longer or if not
stay with me, then I wish he would have taken me with him because the minute he
left me, I did feel very lonesome without him there. I still don’t figure out
why was this case that somebody’s presence could make your existence so intact
and the minute they left you, you would feel so diminished and divided. After
the unforgettable moment that he gave me, I was sure of the very next thing I was
about to do for him and before I could tell anyone about it, I found myself
sitting with Tenzin, all set to take the similar pain my Rab went through around
twenty days before the present day I would be sharing with you all. Because it
was a Latino Hispanic tradition that when lovers get the same tattoo imprinted
on their body, God keeps them together in their next birth too. So I was here, I
wanted Rab not just in this birth or the upcoming one, but in all the births I was
destined to survive, and I could go through any madness and pain to have him
and be with him. Rab was obviously unaware of the surprise I was about to give
him, only was friend Mahi, was giving me company in my dementia -fanaticism. Rab,
my love I’m sure you would be reading me, while you were not there I did not
use my flirting tricks to entertain myself, so you can secretly flash a victorious
smile because like I know you, that would definitely be your first thought when
you will get to know about my tattoo. It was not at all hurting me; I was
infact very itchy to see his reaction. This time Tenzin needed no instructions,
he knew he had to make the ‘ik’ and the ‘onkar’ together, I guess like Rab and I,
even he wanted us to be close to each other.
Rakha,
I read
you every day, I miss you every bit in my life. I love you from the core of my
soul Rakha. I’m married to your soul and not even God can get me apart from
you. I have given my heart and my breadth to you and I pray to the almighty to take
all my happiness from me and put it in your lap. If my God loves me Rakha, he
will write your name in my destiny, I know you are my unreachable dream but if I
get you, I will get the whole world. You are my beautiful angel, nobody is like
you, and since the time you have come in my life I see my life elevating
because of your good deeds done. I dedicate my life, my soul, my words, my
smile, my emotions and my tears to you Rakha. You love me with so much of
density that you touch my soul. You ask me “ why do you love me so much Rab?”. Rakha you don’t need any reason to love your soul,
your spirit, your secret self, that’s why I have no reason to love you. You are
my Guru and I’m your biggest devotee, you are the nicest human alive and I salute
to your morals and respect you for all that you have done for me. You are my
prayer Rakha, you are a blessing to me from the lord and to love you is to love
God. Your love has a passion, your love is addictive, and everything about you
is enslaving and obsessive. Rakha what you did for me today, in return of it, I
would give you anything, I would give you my life too and I’m being very honest
about it. You don’t know how much I love you Rakha, I wish I could tell you but
like you, even I’m unaware about it.
“ I know one day
when people will talk about love, they will talk about RabRakha… “
Rab Rakha will be available on flipkart and infibeam for the people living in India and on www.uread.com for the people living outside India.
You can join my fan page by the name of 'Karnika Gupta' on facebook for more updates.
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