It was the coldest night of my life Rakha. I
have seen the cruelest time, I have been through such bitter experiences but
when I met you I thought you are my medal I had won for running through such a
hectic race in my previous time. You made me forget all my wounds and
discomforts, you got warmth, hopes, dreams, you got me my zeal to live life. I
couldn’t believe you cried for me that night, I couldn’t believe I gave you
tears and I will never forgive myself for doing so. You are crying because you
think you have broken my heart? Rakha what you told me was something I myself
was aware from the first day I met you, I was just shattered for a bit because I
was so lost and mesmerized in you that I forgot you are just a dream, you are
just a season in my life that might end soon but will last in my thoughts till
the last breath of my life.
I was astounded to see you breaking down
for a fish (you were right Rakha) I agree with you I’m a fish I live in water ,
I accept you are a bird for you fly high, you live in the air you have the
whole sky to breathe and you have high reaching, soaring aims in life. Even if
we are emotionally, mentally and physically in all ways in love with each
other, the fact that there is a wide gap between our worlds would not be taken
away. You were shedding your valuable tears and taking all the blame on yourself
Rakha, when it was me who was being selfish by expecting you to be with me. I
should have thought that I was asking you to sacrifice on your flights, give up
on what you are born for, and lower your altitudes. Love which takes you down
is not love Rakha, and in true love you want the other person’s good. You took
too much of a burden of guilt and wisdom on your shoulders Rakha, when it was
my fault that I expected too much out of my life. You are an angel, you have
wings and a halo and I was trying to pin you down to the ground when you are
born to stay aloft beyond the sky in the heaven.
There was a time when in the shells I used to whisper my love songs, and
secret rhymes, I have longed for you for
too long. I was too scared to come out of the water, you showed me the world
more beautiful outside the shore, you showed me the moon you showed me the
stars, you gave me the best feelings in the world. You will never have an idea
of what you have done for me Rakha, simply because you don’t know the worth of
your wings. And honestly that is one thing that pulls me more closer to you. If
I can show you your worth by giving you what you deserve, which I doubt would
be possible in this birth since no matter how much I would do for you will be
less as compared to what you have given me. But even if i succeed a bit, I would
feel that this fish of yours have done one worthy deed in his life. I genuinely
want you to stretch your wings out, I want to you to apprentice the beauty and
art of living life. I had always wished for the life you are living and if I will
be happy if atleast you would be living it fully even if I will not be a part
of it.
You asked me a very small thing Rakha, when you know me so well inside
and out how could you think that I would now stop loving you. I regret for not
being able to give you what you deserve and I apologize for not fulfilling your
dreams. Your tears are much more
precious than this poor heart filled with intense love and longing for you. I see
my happiness in your eyes Rakha, and I will not be able to acquire them if they
will be filled with tears. I do not possess any grudges against you, I have a
tiff with my God, for he wasted by granting me such a life, not because of my
circumstances, but for the fact that you won’t be its part. Rakha, how much I
was repenting that night for being where I’m, and my heart will always be
howling to be with you.
Dear God, if you are listening, I
sincerely pray from the bottom of my soul to grant us a life of love birds, in our next birth, so that I can fly with my
Rakha, to the heaven so beautiful like a divine adobe, and where nothing will
do us apart- sky or the shore, not even the nature, nor the creator, and not
even the morals of Rakha.
Rab Rakha will be available on flipkart and infibeam for the people living in India and on www.uread.com for the people living outside India.
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