Saturday 6 July 2013

Rab Rakha (chapter IV)

 If I start loving you Rakha, would you leave me and go?

                       I had an empty feeling that used to come from within, I long to share my feelings but nobody was there to listen. I felt overwhelmed, my mind was a crawl. I lay in my bed in the light of the moon, so that I don’t see those who aren’t for me. The flames spark inside me that heat up my fear, my thoughts were suicidal and my days were so drear. Emotional fires used to burn up in my head.  Fires of love and pain and regret.  Consumed in my own darkness, I used to slowly fade away.  I’m a lonely soul and I wander in the walks of life. I meet many souls but they come to be unfit for a lonely soul like me, I decide not to die but to face all the hardships of life.


                                    Rakha are you for real?  Take me to your world Rakha where resides love, where resides warmth and affection. I have been alone all my childhood, I have been lonely since forever now. I have not seen my childhood and I’m in pain when I realize I live alone inside the four walls. You live in a world of dreams and happiness, world of laughter and joy.  I possess nobody apart from pain, anger and loneliness. I promise you will never be introduced to my evil side, I promise I will never let my fate affect your world. Make me your shadow and be my shelter.  I will never get tears in your eyes, I will never show you my pain, I will never utter a word if that will block your way to happiness.

                                    But I fear of losing you, I fear of seeing you go, if I fall for you would you go? I will give you my everything Rakha, my love my loyalty my sincerity and my life. It is for the first time that somebody so angelic like you have urged to desire me and you have become my irresistible desire. I do not know what you see, when you see in me but it makes me want to be a better man. I know that happens when you let yourself get close to someone, when you started to believe they loved you: you’d be disappointed. Depend on someone, and you might as well admit you’re going to be crushed, because when you really needed them, they wouldn’t be there. Either that, or you’d confide in them and you added to their problems. Would you be a part of me forever and just be with me where I go?

  Rab,
 If I fall for you and if I start loving you would you leave me and go?  You love me because you do realize that I might get lost. But if I promise to be your part and love you till death does us apart, would you still love me with the same passion and spark. Leave your fear, your insecurities aside, love unexpressed is a love wasted for the entire life. Blessed are those who get the opportunity to express their love to the one they truly love. I promise to keep my fears inside and love you more than I will love my own life.  I’m not afraid of your loneliness and your anger, I’m happy for you Rab, I’m happy that finally you have met somebody you are ready to be her part, so why not allow her to get you rid of your disease , your illness. Life only starts when love comes, and it does not deserve to be crushed by fear and insecurities.  I love you for the soul you are, depressed and lonely, for I can see through your eyes, you have a lot to give and you will change my world. 





Rab Rakha will be available on flipkart and infibeam for the people living in India and on www.uread.com for  the people living outside India. 

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